Throw Me a Rope

I owe a post. I also owe my apologies to the world of bloggers for treating the blogosphere as if they were my own personal audience. Truth be told a lot of what I write is just mental diahrehea. When you least expect is you just have to put it somewhere.

So I wasn't accepted into a school. It's been done before, it's all happened and I've been through that. I've dealt with rejection all of my life. So why the heck was it harder this time? Well, truth be told it wasn't rejection. It was oddly an acknowledgment of understanding. See the director has spoken with Randy before about me, and with Mark. The school did above and beyond an outstanding job of respecting my individual case. In the letter, which I won't post here, but if anyone wanted to see it just ask me ( It's just a letter like any other) They told me that It wasn't the right school for me. I could go the route of saying---"Well how the heck do you know what school is right for me, huh...punk!"---but really that wouldn't be realistic an it would have a simple answer. They don't know what school is right for me, they just know they aren't it. They understand what they as a school need to really make the school successful and build people up into missions, and they want to do that through missions---head first style, and to respect what they know and trust is all I can do.

I wanted to go to Montreal so much. What I want, unfortunately isn't always for the best. People don't know what they want, they rarely know what they think they need.

I was people watching today. Because...well I had nothing better to do, and well, I like people. Now the funny thing about people watching is you usually do your best when you least realize it. You notice things about people, and the way they interact. For example, I bought running shoes today---finally. I've been in the store before but I never seen this particular salesmen before, he was an oddball really. He comes up to me and right away I notice he has this accent...I just couldn't place it. He continues to talk, and chat. He knows a lot about shoes. In fact I'd go as far as to say he truly respects shoes as much as people. I had come in thinking I knew what I wanted and he got me something else. Usually this is just the sign of a good sell, but I felt like I could trust the guy. He was training today, and when you're watching people interact with new people it becomes a real show. Mate (his name...which I forgot but later added in here =D) had this amazing ability to adapt to people. He would speak with someone for a minute and then he would just sort of know how to tell them something. Everyone was different. All the while my curiosity with accents was kicking me to ask. Eventually I did. He was from Hungary! I shouldn't exclaim that but that was the last place I expected.

Foreign People make my day.

Later I had stopped by Borders to say hello to Melissa (old friend who is old but not really) and decided to sit an try and finish my tea passport for starbucks in one sitting. I was determined, but was distracted by the wandering children in the store. See there was something off about this one very vocal little girl, she was wondering around as if the store was her castle. I was waiting for her to declare my kingdom for a scone, when I realized she was from the united kingdom. She reminded me so much of Lola from "Charlie and Lola" that it was just uncanny.

Again I say, foreign people make my day. Especially when they are five and they have the confidence of a hardened war general.

EDIT: Just a note, I actually try to write her quite often...but I don't publish all of them. Some I just write as mental notes and such which would read something like.

"You must wake up early tommorrow and write letters, finish the draft for the artist pages, bake scones, be abducted by aliens, etc."

Others I save until I can go back and finish them and sort of tone them down a bit. Like Today's Blog (Posted September 5, 2006 ---hey what can I say it's been busy.


Word of the Moment!

Viscous vis·cous (vĭs'kəs)
adj.

1. Having relatively high resistance to flow.
2. Viscid; sticky.

[Middle English, from Old French, from Late Latin viscōsus. See viscose.]

viscously vis'cous·ly adv.
viscousness vis'cous·ness n.

Everybody is Someone

I was as of today officially not accepted into the Montreal Urban Cultures Discipleship Training School. I'll make another post later with what I think on this, but I'm not quite sure of that at the moment.

...I'm okay so far though. Just to make this a little less than not cheery, I give you the word of the moment.

corroborate \kuh-ROB-uh-rayt\, transitive verb:
To strengthen or make more certain with other evidence.

Whenever I can, I interview family and friends extensively both to corroborate the history given me by the defendant and to gain insight into his behavior and personality.
-- Barbara R. Kirwin, Ph.D., The Mad, the Bad, and the Innocent: The Criminal Mind on Trial

He said that when the jurors confronted discrepancies in any of the prosecution witnesses' descriptions, they used the testimony of other prosecution witnesses to corroborate the chronology.
-- "Most Jurors Thought Schwarz Aided Attack, Foreman Says", New York Times, August 2, 2002

As we have no public notoriety, no concurrent testimony, no records to support and corroborate what we deliver, it becomes us to keep within the limits not only of possibility, but of probability too.
-- Henry Fielding, The History of Tom Jones

Joggin' Gorgeous Summer

I held it in my hand. On the cover page there was a stain, and on others --- the marks of a long day's coffee. It consisted of only a few pages, but I held off for so long. It's light and simple, and just looking at it you wouldn't know it had the most intricate and intimate details of my life tucked neatly inside of it's tattered stocked pages. I was scared really, of trying again. Here I sit with my happy tripped out music (The Islands) and think that maybe, just maybe everything will work out in the end. Either that or I just had too much Raspberry Fudge Swirl. Either way, it's on it's way now and there isn't a thing I can do about it.

...and now for the grand word of the day!

surreptitious \suhr-uhp-TISH-uhs; suh-rep-\, adjective:
1. Done, made, or gotten by stealth.
2. Acting with or marked by stealth.

The monitoring is not surreptitious; on the contrary, the defendant and his or her attorney are required to be given notice of the government's listening activities.
-- John Ashcroft, "National Security; Prevention of Acts of Violence and Terrorism", Federal Register 66, no. 211, October 26, 2001

While men's appetites are driven by availability, women's are often driven by cravings. A dab of chocolate here, a pinch of sugar there, and some surreptitious
-- Wendy Hubbert, "The skinny on male/female dieting", Redbook, October 1, 2001 midnight Dairy Queen runs lurk behind a woman's oh-so-virtuous bran breakfast, salad lunch, and grilled fish dinner.

Now she made a surreptitious glance toward the doorway into the hall.
-- Naeem Murr, The Boy

Blueberry Boat.

...and today's word of the day is: Scuttlebutt

The nautical term Scuttlebutt originally (and still) means a water fountain or water cask on a ship. However, it is now more commonly used as slang for "information" or "gossip".

The cask of drinking water on ships was called a scuttlebutt and since Sailors exchanged gossip when they gathered at the scuttlebutt for a drink of water, scuttlebutt became U.S. Navy slang for gossip or rumors. A butt was a wooden cask which held water or other liquids; to scuttle is to drill a hole, as for tapping a cask.

How's that for the real "scuttlebutt" of the world, eh? Yeah...Off to the post to do important post-y type things!

Oh, and I have a job.

I miss you.

It's been really hard to get started this week. As some of you know, monday I had to say goodbye to a dear friend. My cat Max. We weren't exactly sure how old he was becuase we adopted him from the street, his estimated age is somewhere between thirteen to seventeen years of age (which is quite long for cats I suppose). This is the same cat who no matter how you treated him just wanted loved. I loved that about him, he just didn't care, but thrived when people gave him the time of day.

On his last day...Max had multiple tumors in his system. Three that we knew of, in his gums face and stomach. He had his eye removed earlier and it caused him to go blind in his other eye, we believe with one eye removed it just released cancer into his system. After he went blind, the first few nights he came home he just made this sad sound. It was like he was asking where everyone is, and it got more deperate and frantic, until someone would pick him up. We should have let him go at that moment, but we loved this cat too much. On his final day, you knew he was ready. He just lie there on the counter.

We buried him in between all of the rain on monday...and I truly miss him. I have a lot more to talk about, but I'll save that for another time alright? This blog is now again officially active, as I had to return my computer, with reasons to come soon.

The Festival was amazing...

Until I came home. =P Honestly.

I will have a big update soon, I've been at my sisters too so this is my first day officially back. Today, was a much longer day than it had to be for me.

Let's try again tommorrow shall we?

Stupid Monkeys.

OKAY.

I am a bit irritated, mind you that isn't anything new, but I would really like to have my computer back and working because I really wanna play around with the layout for this more.

I HAVE GOOD NEWS.

I'm doing something next week, well it's not final, but it's something. I'll be volunteering at the local christian music festival...ALIVE. Riveting title eh, well their site ( www.alive.org ) has all the info, and three of my favorite christian bands are playing (David Crowder, The Afters, and Sanctus Real) and, well I dunno it's chance to be with people who won't hate me or look down on me because I'm christian. It's a chance to be in just a step above my normal everyday spectrum of unusual people. I've been feeling off I think for the reason that I have little interaction with churches at the moment or christians of any sort. Except for Choir Practice and Sunday, I rarely do anything christianish and I miss that

...and I made biscotti! They turned out great. =D That and I decided to just keep both of the blogs in this account for now.

Oddly enough "Dead Like Me" makes me smile these days. I think for a show that has so much heaped in profanity it actually tries to look and do something others dare not touch. Plus it does it with a good jab to your side to make you laugh at something that normally brings tears. I respect that about it.

A Death and a Closing.

In all honesty I know I have issues. What I will be doing soon though is closing this blog, and starting not one but two new ones. The first one will be a new personal blog, but with a commitment to being more positive. It will also be the focus of missions work, as I'm about to start in a slurry of support raising for a new school or whatever I will be doing with my life.

The second I was testing, and will start later is devoted to...FOOD. Someone wanted me to start doing full reviews of CD's again as well, so I may throw a few in there with a lot more in depth notes as opposed to the short blurbs I have every now and then.=D

Yes I am in fact starting a food blog, my addiction to cooking has grown since I've been home and I've been on a bent to learn everything I can. So, like many others before me I shall devote a blog to food and such.

...and a final sad note. As of May 22, 2006 Kaylee has passed away from stress and brain activity. Soon, she will have a replacement, and no...it won't be the same. It will never be the same, but I hope her follow-up will at least have the heart that Kaylee had as she just tried too hard to do everything I ask.

For this I say, Good day and God Bless.

Now I must go reboot my life, I believe it locked up on me.

See I can smile sometimes...

Hi.

This Picture is actually from my new love. Her name is Kaylee. She came in from China Yesterday. She take's pretty good pictures, eh?

Man this makes me miss Photoshop though, I'm going to trade in my windows copy tommorrow.

Funny Thing about Memories.

In all honesty, memories are my downfall. They are the controller to my emotions. They determine how I react, how I think, and how I know when something is right. When I can turn them off though, rare as that may be, I can truly be at peace. Right now, I'm at peace. I have no job, I have just enough money to get by. I am wearing a three dollar shirt from savers (a mexico soccer shirt #89) and above all of it I feel great.

Funny, eh? I've missed people, honest to god, just missed people. Oh, the angst. Anyways. These past few days have been productive, yet good. On Sunday, I had one of the longest drives of my life by myself. I also tried to learn some French. I think I could hold a very short confusing conversation (by myself) now, although it would be impossible with regular french speakers (So fast!). The day after me and Adam Roadtripped it up to Mines-o-ta. Where we are now shacking it up with Laura and Her Peeps.

Then on Tuesday, a long day might I add...we ate more than any two men should actually have to eat. It started with breakfast. Simple as it may be, I ate at about 8:00, then ate some more toast when Laura and Adam got up at around 11:00 (which they are still not up as I type this might I add. Lazy Arse...) We started our interesting and adventurous day. First up, Canoeing! We explored her lake, then her little mini-river where she showed us her fort that she used to hide in when she was a kid with a rifle and shoot unspecting runners in the feet. Twisted, but I guess everyone has their own personal kicks. Then we rowed back, where we tempted fate by suggesting it would be interesting to dump the boat over (thank god we didn't). Then...to the zoo! Which was fully entertaining, especially considering it was a very lame zoo in which the most interesting item of the zoo was the one giraffe who had an infactuation with the concrete wall. He brought a new art to crazy licking. Then he ramped it up a notch as if to show it off more. Followed by the zoo (which Laura secretly despised because she worked at the dipping dot's booth for one day next to a dead bird) we had...meal #3. Now I knew we would have to eat when we went home, because I was up when Laura's mom was prepping Japanese style fried chicken, but it didn't stop us from going to buffalo wild wings (affectionately known as b-dubs) where I had the fast food equivalent of what we would have for dinner later (asian zing, a very kick-arse flavor might I add).

Post this adventure it was a journey back to the house, where chilling and guitar-playing was done. Followed by an invite to bible study with Jessa (and what we found out was meal # 4). Me and Adam---and Laura until she tried to run me over with a van---played a rambunctous game of basketball. Apparantly you aren't supposed to rocket the ball into the woods past the hoop with my amazing shots of gravity-defying klutziness. Go figure. I met Laura's younger brother (the invisible teenager) for about three seconds where he then dissappeared. Off to our next adventure with Laura off to work. The bible study. DUM DUM DUM! We were told there was just snacks. JUST SNACKS. Instead we had Italian-sausage stuffed baby portobello's with Hot Deigo's (an italian open faced burger) followed by fruit and all the (deliciously fresh) swedish fish we could muster. We also had worship, and despite the fact I can't really sing...I really enjoyed it. Good worship doesn't happen that often anymore for me. THEN. We went to visit Laura at her work, for Chai Tea Lattes and ice cream samples (an in between snack before the battle of meal # 5). Off we go, and there she is ready to heat it up for us, Laura's sweetheart of a mom, how could we deny. We tackled it like champs. I actually prayed over the food silently that my stomach wouldn't turn on me. It was really good too. Following it all after Laura returned---with our two favorite ice cream flavors in pints.

Churning of the stomach has a new meaning now. Yet it was all so good, even though I never in my life want to eat that much again.

Artist of the Day - Sam "Leslie" Phillips - I'm finally getting back to these things. Today's Artist or this blog's artist as I may update later, is Sam Phillips. Known for her work on Gilmore Girl's as well as various movies Sam or Leslie Phillips started her career as a christian pop singer. Now sadly, she did fall away from that, but by being burned by label complications. She did however change and fall into a very relaxed folk style. Her husky voice is a beautiful companion to her varied use of instruments (mostly acoustic) melodic driven lyrics, and sweet reflections on the world.

Suggest Albums - "A boot and a shoe" and "Fan Dance"

WOO HOO~

Soon the canadian dollar will be worth more than the US, we have hit 1.10! Unfortunately I finally found a use for that student Mastercard I got ages ago.

Soon you will all meet my new love. =D

Bad Day

A moment of silence.

the current USA to Canada exchange rate is one american dollar for every 1.12 with no signs of increase. When I was in toronto it was at 1.43. When I was in vancouver it was at 1.27. The second time it was at 1.19, it has not dropped that low in decades.

Rest in Peace, american dollar, it was a rough fight. You just gotta face it, you've lost this battle. We need a new strategy.

and that is...GET MORE MONEY! MUAHAHA!

Total needed for Montreal to date = $8953.04 USD estimated.

My Struggle.

Is it possible to be blacklisted by your friends. Is my honesty really that off-putting? I wish someone would just tell me and end my misery.

There's a gathering of YWAMers sometime in May, and no one is telling me a thing about it. The sadness. I guess I just won't get to go. I'm not big on party-crashing.

I will, try to make this area a little more positive, yes it has been down, but this is not only a public blog it's what I'm thinking, and that means it's not always put together with kindness and good judgement. It does however mean my mind is as random as you all thought.

Wish you all a happy birthday in may, then. =P

Oz.

Dear Coffee.

I miss you, I dearly truely do. You where my first true love and it seems as if every day before you was just fabricated to make me feel comforted in that I had life without you. Sadly I don't have that great life. I had you, and you were all I ever wanted. Sweet Tempting, yet warm and bold like a rustic wool blanket by the fire with a warm cup of...you.

All my good memories this past year involve you. You were everywhere in my life, you busy mistress you, with me, the koreans, even a kiwi occasionally. You kicked my first love of tea out a window. While horribly unkind, she was comforted by the acceptance of a brit or two down the road.

Now though, I just miss you. Someday when I can have you again, will you be mine?

Sincerely.

- An Overworked Barista.

Purpose for my Life

Mood music. Makes the world go 'round.

Day Fourty - One (Cont.)

Okay. Feeling alive is good, and while everyone still thinks I'm crazy I like being alone at night running around like the crazyness I can be. It's my release, because some days a lot can happen that will wear you down. I'll get back to what I started before with the whole keep your mouth shut but right now I feel to disperse a theory. Today...was rough. All it took was just one little thing and then the world seemed to fall on me pushing something else down. Those Dreary Domino Days. Truth be told, I have a theory about domino days. Unlike the game I feel they start in the middle of the board and you can go either way, but like the dominos once it's started, you just can't stop it. Now the good thing about domino days is that you they are just that, one day, or many days, but nothing more. You can have the good, but then you have the bad. If I believed in Karma I would mumble something that would be the intellectual equivalent of a room of stoners --- not to diss Karma. I think it's a great example of taking a religious idea and extrem-ifying it.

Think about it. What I know about god, is that things happen for a reason. Now Karma is the idea that everything that happens gets it's just rewards. Materialism in it's raw form really. Buying things. Doing the extra work so you can slack later, now that's just bad business. A tit for tat attitude get no one anywhere and it all comes done to the world's biggest lie. It's all about me. In reality, if life were all about me I would be both bored and bothered. It would be the raw equal of a tv that only played reality tv (and not top chef or next food network star reality tv, the really gritty fluff that comes through and impregnates the airways with it's spawn...can anyone say The Apprentice...MARTHA STEWART EDITION!)

I'll leave a moment of silence for all of you to shudder. Now these days I've learned that...it can still be about you. In that, it may be the only thing you have any control in changing, bringing me back to my first point. How many people have seen the effects of gossip. See, I've somewhat made a friend. Anthony (he's from Gana) and has a pretty good grip on the world---yet he talks a lot. So much in fact it gets in the way of his work a lot. We work at starbucks, which can be the best and worst place to stop and chat. Now I love this guy but he does like to pay attention to people more than work. The past few days all I've heard after he's left is Anthony this, Anthony that, real pure unadulterated hate that will just seep through your pores.

I hate that. I even know hate is a strong word but it doesn't matter this time. I hate that people thrive off of tearing down other people. I hate also that I've done it too. Not to Anthony, but to my boss, because he has serious issues. Issues that really do prevent him from being even an adequate boss (and that's being kind). Yet everyone wants to cry mutiny, but as soon as he comes around the world grows mute.

So. I want to just scream some days. Still, I'm not cool enough to start the revolution. What I can do is keep an eye out for my dude, Anthony from Gana (how can you not like a guy who listens to tribal music on his cellphone to relax?)

In other news.

I'm reading Luke. =D

Stitched Up.

Sometimes there are those days, those moments where whatever you think you should say you should just...not. I hate that moment.

Enter Day Fourty - One

This morning I ran. I woke up at the crack of dawn (quite literally) and I just ran. Tommorrow, even though I froze, I may do it again. Running is something that even though I'm not very good at it, it allows me to feel alive. Heart Racing, breath dying, that thump as your body tries to keep up with you when all you want to do is move. It's a rush, and a kick.

In fact I would quite glady go at it right now.

In fact.

Be Right Back.

Alas, Dreams are things we're made of.

Day Thirty - Five

See.

Dreams are weird, because I hear about them all the time but I don't have them. Not the pysical ---HELP ME THE THREE-HEADED MONKEY IS EATING MY---OH MY GOODNESS GRACIOUS, THAT WAS SO GORRAM REAL! ---kinda dreams. I have the, It would be great to do this, kinda dreams. Now if I could I would fancify this mess with lots of italics, but evil mac of doom lacks the technology to allow me to do such. Darn Safari. I do have the latter. Which is healthy, I suppose. Granted, I wouldn't mind the former. See...now this is just forming word diarhea on the screen.

I do have something relatively important to say though...I am so broken. Mentally and physcially broken. I still haven't sent the application in, because I'm not sure if that's supposed to be. Everything is just, tearing me out, inside, upside-down, and over. It isn't healthy...I know that much. I snap easily right now. For lack of a better word I guess you could say I was a bit too brittle. Like circles on the paper. Round and round, over and over, eventually breaking through, where all your left with is these holes. I feel like swiss-cheese dangit.

If only god would wanted a reuban, I'd be perfect. Grill me oh, might-y grill-smiting-person thing.

So...pray for me. Please? I like chedder better than swiss anyways.

Options create CHAOS.

I've lost count of the days for this entry. I will go back and redo it, it's probably the most obsessive compulsive thing I've stuck to these days.

Argh.

I should be asleep. It's 11:20, and tommorrow is my physical test. That sounds just like it is, I get to go out to our wellness clinic and they get to test just how healthy I really am. It's part of committing to something and attempting to stay to it the best I can. This case is a really off one. I committed to moving. The real get up and go kind, I committed to get off my arse every day. Heck, I've gotten up at a respectable hour this past week and have been going to bed (for me) very early.

Here's another odd thing I've noticed. I want to know more about cooking...add to that, I want to learn more about cooking from an actual school! Yet, I still don't want to really run or own a restaurant. I just want to make things that good people will come to get, and I'll get that chance to chat and share. I want regulars. I want relationships built through good food and good word. I want to put a heart into what I'm making and show them...heck I can make some pretty gorram good scones. I blame a recent obsession with Food Network. Now for the real kicker...I was looking at schools in Vancouver. WAY out of my price range...for now.

So.

I'm kind of back at one step at a time.

Wouldn't life be easier if there was just a big glaring sign hovering above your head that maybe you couldn't see but every else could. That way if you didn't know what you wanted, maybe somebody else did.

Then I would give them a Pumpkin Apricot Scone.

...AND THE GLOVES ARE OFF!

Day Thirteen. (Post Three...I really want to try to do this everyday)

Have you ever had the undeniable urge to slug someone. I mean really knock them down.

Now as barbaric as this in fact sounds, I resisted this animalistic instinct today. Instead I prayed for them REALLY hard. That'll teach 'em! Too add to this I would give you all the nitty gritty details but to be honest, they aren't pretty and they make neither party look all that posh.

In other news. I lost my wallet, again...and all it took was one little thing to really set me off. I have been so stressed these past few days. I've decided Satan is a monkey. A small, yet irritatingly high-pitched monkey that flings poo at you whenever you think he's gone all the way. Truth is I went to the doctor this past friday. The Good News is, God found it, after lots of praying and yelling and calling of every school building I went into the day before (we have a large campus with lots of numbers I've found) and someone picked it up, took it to financial aid after my mom and me declared it a good way to show something (what I've been yelling about) and they called me up. Now for the bad news... Funny thing about doctor's, they always sound omnimous even when it may be something innocent. I have... Laryngopharyngeal Reflux Disease. The Best way to describe it is a funtime ulcer---in your throat. So because of this I can't have ANY coffee, chocolate, caffiene, spicy foods, acidic juices, aka...flavor. Right now, though it looks terrible. On top of all of this they stuck a camera down my nose and showed it to me. This is really hard to hear, it explains why I can't really sing all that well at all anymore, but if I don't change the way I live drastically I may never sing again. But because of that I would have to give up things that meant a lot to me as silly as they sound. Coffee is a passion of mine, I really want to have my own coffee shop, I've even been working to perfect my recipes. Cooking is a passion of mine, I love cooking, and I love spice. Now I have to stop all of it, instantly. Adding to all of that apparantly I have funny shaped cartilage in my throat, then they said it's not cancer and nearly gave me an instant heart attack. He doesn't know *what* it is though, which is almost worse. Heck this whole thing is...arg. It's been developing over the past few years so that explains, a lot.

Looking back at it though, it kind of explains a lot of other things too.

Not many of you know this, but I auditioned for a musical theater scholarship at a high-ranked university in southern ohio. It started with a sixteen hour bus ride. It ended with the short letter. This was one of the last times I remember putting all my heart into it, I was up singing and rehearsing for hours driving people around me nuts. In the morning things went fine, but something wasn't right. Then months later...well, you get the idea. Could you imagine how horrible it would be to study music to have it declared a little later you may never get to sing?

It's been really rough for me recently. I'm still trying to find solid information that this'll go away, but right now all I can do is really pray. Pray with conviction, from my heart, with all the passion I can muster. Looking at it though, and reading Layne's post about God having nothing to do with the things he can control. I don't have cancer, but to me this is almost worse, so why should I ever for even one minute believe that God cant' do anything about it? That God has no control? That I'm screwed?

I shall find you monkey, and I'll show you how a real man flings poo.

Movie of the Day - (Sad Movie) 새드무비-I have a new favorite foreign film. This is to me the "Love Actually" of Korea! It has great stories, and strong characters that really show you well...a sad movie. It makes you care about these characters, first by showing us their strengths and their ultimate weaknesses. It's especially touching to me though because of the fact that it shows people change. I rememeber at one point I was just trying to will the movie into another direction but it just wouldn't be that easy. It was stubborn, but true. Will, I think you would really like this, even if it did prove your theory about Korean Women in film.

Swords Up.

Day Two -

Part One - Entering the Dragons Lair.

Today was interesting, I woke up a mess after what was a particularily long day yesterday and found I needed to go to the doctor. Now to most people you see this as a sign you are sick and therefore you will improve.

For me --- well let's just say that my doctor is about as helpful as sitting on a bed of nails. In all honesty I'm not even sure she tries anymore. So I went, finally she did something, something totally out of character...she recommended I see someone else! Finally! Well it's an ear, nose, and throat specialist so maybe someday soon my voice will be back up to par. It looks like the archaic practice of tonsil removing shall be revived.

Part Two - Out of the Running.

God frustrates me. There is no better way to put it than that, it seems like everytime I find something I think I could do he just slams the door on my foot. Of course though, god's door isn't a measly little plywood compound---it's steel and if something gets caught in it, it shuts regardless. Man, does my foot hurt. I went to follow-up on the two applications for starbucks again (already working at one location but a liscense store and being well experienced with a variety of machinery...an obsession I must say.) I figured It wouldn't be all that hard, heck they were evening hiring! Today I found out my availability sucks. Considering I have class, but put down every spare hour, more hours than when I worked at every other job...more hours than what most of the people who work there have available---they want me to be more free with my hours.

Shizam. My poor poor foot.

Other than being out of the running for the job, one good thing happened. Valerie, in charge of financial aid was great and so nice to me, but then she did a little extra. Even though I am lazy and an arse, she went ahead and posted deferment notices to my sharks. Giving me at least a year where I won't have to worry about loans. *w00t*

So I end today's entry with daily recommendations:

Today's Movie - Crash - I would never recommend owning this, it's almost as hard to watch as Passion of the Christ for it's "NO DON'T!" yell at the screen factor, but if you get into it, there are parts that just touch your soul and they outweigh the rest of the movie by far. This movie was the only movie I have ever in my life walked out of, but something told me to give it another chance. It was worth the second viewing, please make it to the end. I watched this because of Jessi Oates or Jamie (Someone said it was their favorite movie at the begining of the school), because I couldn't figure out why either of you liked this movie so much. But I knew at the exact moment, it was all about little angels. I miss Vancouver.

Today's Artist - Mindy Smith - I actually discovered this artist hovering around itunes looking up the afters, she was in the band's recommendations so I hunted her album down. She was worth the work finding. Her etherial voice is well balanced by good strumming, and great lyrics. If you were to compare her to anyone I would say...Norah Jones meets Jennifer Knapp. I'm still waiting for both of their new albums, eventually, but in the meantime she is a balanced and talented artist to relax to.

P.S. - I miss Vancouver.