Food for those who don't like food.

Thursday, March 23, 2006


Day Thirteen. (Post Three...I really want to try to do this everyday)

Have you ever had the undeniable urge to slug someone. I mean really knock them down.

Now as barbaric as this in fact sounds, I resisted this animalistic instinct today. Instead I prayed for them REALLY hard. That'll teach 'em! Too add to this I would give you all the nitty gritty details but to be honest, they aren't pretty and they make neither party look all that posh.

In other news. I lost my wallet, again...and all it took was one little thing to really set me off. I have been so stressed these past few days. I've decided Satan is a monkey. A small, yet irritatingly high-pitched monkey that flings poo at you whenever you think he's gone all the way. Truth is I went to the doctor this past friday. The Good News is, God found it, after lots of praying and yelling and calling of every school building I went into the day before (we have a large campus with lots of numbers I've found) and someone picked it up, took it to financial aid after my mom and me declared it a good way to show something (what I've been yelling about) and they called me up. Now for the bad news... Funny thing about doctor's, they always sound omnimous even when it may be something innocent. I have... Laryngopharyngeal Reflux Disease. The Best way to describe it is a funtime ulcer---in your throat. So because of this I can't have ANY coffee, chocolate, caffiene, spicy foods, acidic juices, aka...flavor. Right now, though it looks terrible. On top of all of this they stuck a camera down my nose and showed it to me. This is really hard to hear, it explains why I can't really sing all that well at all anymore, but if I don't change the way I live drastically I may never sing again. But because of that I would have to give up things that meant a lot to me as silly as they sound. Coffee is a passion of mine, I really want to have my own coffee shop, I've even been working to perfect my recipes. Cooking is a passion of mine, I love cooking, and I love spice. Now I have to stop all of it, instantly. Adding to all of that apparantly I have funny shaped cartilage in my throat, then they said it's not cancer and nearly gave me an instant heart attack. He doesn't know *what* it is though, which is almost worse. Heck this whole thing is...arg. It's been developing over the past few years so that explains, a lot.

Looking back at it though, it kind of explains a lot of other things too.

Not many of you know this, but I auditioned for a musical theater scholarship at a high-ranked university in southern ohio. It started with a sixteen hour bus ride. It ended with the short letter. This was one of the last times I remember putting all my heart into it, I was up singing and rehearsing for hours driving people around me nuts. In the morning things went fine, but something wasn't right. Then months later...well, you get the idea. Could you imagine how horrible it would be to study music to have it declared a little later you may never get to sing?

It's been really rough for me recently. I'm still trying to find solid information that this'll go away, but right now all I can do is really pray. Pray with conviction, from my heart, with all the passion I can muster. Looking at it though, and reading Layne's post about God having nothing to do with the things he can control. I don't have cancer, but to me this is almost worse, so why should I ever for even one minute believe that God cant' do anything about it? That God has no control? That I'm screwed?

I shall find you monkey, and I'll show you how a real man flings poo.

Movie of the Day - (Sad Movie)
새드무비-I have a new favorite foreign film. This is to me the "Love Actually" of Korea! It has great stories, and strong characters that really show you well...a sad movie. It makes you care about these characters, first by showing us their strengths and their ultimate weaknesses. It's especially touching to me though because of the fact that it shows people change. I rememeber at one point I was just trying to will the movie into another direction but it just wouldn't be that easy. It was stubborn, but true. Will, I think you would really like this, even if it did prove your theory about Korean Women in film.

Monday, March 13, 2006

Swords Up.

Day Two -

Part One - Entering the Dragons Lair.

Today was interesting, I woke up a mess after what was a particularily long day yesterday and found I needed to go to the doctor. Now to most people you see this as a sign you are sick and therefore you will improve.

For me --- well let's just say that my doctor is about as helpful as sitting on a bed of nails. In all honesty I'm not even sure she tries anymore. So I went, finally she did something, something totally out of character...she recommended I see someone else! Finally! Well it's an ear, nose, and throat specialist so maybe someday soon my voice will be back up to par. It looks like the archaic practice of tonsil removing shall be revived.

Part Two - Out of the Running.

God frustrates me. There is no better way to put it than that, it seems like everytime I find something I think I could do he just slams the door on my foot. Of course though, god's door isn't a measly little plywood compound---it's steel and if something gets caught in it, it shuts regardless. Man, does my foot hurt. I went to follow-up on the two applications for starbucks again (already working at one location but a liscense store and being well experienced with a variety of obsession I must say.) I figured It wouldn't be all that hard, heck they were evening hiring! Today I found out my availability sucks. Considering I have class, but put down every spare hour, more hours than when I worked at every other job...more hours than what most of the people who work there have available---they want me to be more free with my hours.

Shizam. My poor poor foot.

Other than being out of the running for the job, one good thing happened. Valerie, in charge of financial aid was great and so nice to me, but then she did a little extra. Even though I am lazy and an arse, she went ahead and posted deferment notices to my sharks. Giving me at least a year where I won't have to worry about loans. *w00t*

So I end today's entry with daily recommendations:

Today's Movie - Crash - I would never recommend owning this, it's almost as hard to watch as Passion of the Christ for it's "NO DON'T!" yell at the screen factor, but if you get into it, there are parts that just touch your soul and they outweigh the rest of the movie by far. This movie was the only movie I have ever in my life walked out of, but something told me to give it another chance. It was worth the second viewing, please make it to the end. I watched this because of Jessi Oates or Jamie (Someone said it was their favorite movie at the begining of the school), because I couldn't figure out why either of you liked this movie so much. But I knew at the exact moment, it was all about little angels. I miss Vancouver.

Today's Artist - Mindy Smith - I actually discovered this artist hovering around itunes looking up the afters, she was in the band's recommendations so I hunted her album down. She was worth the work finding. Her etherial voice is well balanced by good strumming, and great lyrics. If you were to compare her to anyone I would say...Norah Jones meets Jennifer Knapp. I'm still waiting for both of their new albums, eventually, but in the meantime she is a balanced and talented artist to relax to.

P.S. - I miss Vancouver.

Sunday, March 12, 2006

A Mental Note.

Day One - Mass Recovery.

If you were to simply write, just sit down and write whatever you felt you were supposed to write. Speak your heart, say your piece. Now I have to ask to that, would it be true? or Would it be mindless? Of course...The real question of the matter is would you know what you were trying to say.

Do you really have a point, is what I'm asking.


So...This goes out as a warning to anyone who reads this.

This is what I'm thinking, this is my point.