...AND THE GLOVES ARE OFF!

Day Thirteen. (Post Three...I really want to try to do this everyday)

Have you ever had the undeniable urge to slug someone. I mean really knock them down.

Now as barbaric as this in fact sounds, I resisted this animalistic instinct today. Instead I prayed for them REALLY hard. That'll teach 'em! Too add to this I would give you all the nitty gritty details but to be honest, they aren't pretty and they make neither party look all that posh.

In other news. I lost my wallet, again...and all it took was one little thing to really set me off. I have been so stressed these past few days. I've decided Satan is a monkey. A small, yet irritatingly high-pitched monkey that flings poo at you whenever you think he's gone all the way. Truth is I went to the doctor this past friday. The Good News is, God found it, after lots of praying and yelling and calling of every school building I went into the day before (we have a large campus with lots of numbers I've found) and someone picked it up, took it to financial aid after my mom and me declared it a good way to show something (what I've been yelling about) and they called me up. Now for the bad news... Funny thing about doctor's, they always sound omnimous even when it may be something innocent. I have... Laryngopharyngeal Reflux Disease. The Best way to describe it is a funtime ulcer---in your throat. So because of this I can't have ANY coffee, chocolate, caffiene, spicy foods, acidic juices, aka...flavor. Right now, though it looks terrible. On top of all of this they stuck a camera down my nose and showed it to me. This is really hard to hear, it explains why I can't really sing all that well at all anymore, but if I don't change the way I live drastically I may never sing again. But because of that I would have to give up things that meant a lot to me as silly as they sound. Coffee is a passion of mine, I really want to have my own coffee shop, I've even been working to perfect my recipes. Cooking is a passion of mine, I love cooking, and I love spice. Now I have to stop all of it, instantly. Adding to all of that apparantly I have funny shaped cartilage in my throat, then they said it's not cancer and nearly gave me an instant heart attack. He doesn't know *what* it is though, which is almost worse. Heck this whole thing is...arg. It's been developing over the past few years so that explains, a lot.

Looking back at it though, it kind of explains a lot of other things too.

Not many of you know this, but I auditioned for a musical theater scholarship at a high-ranked university in southern ohio. It started with a sixteen hour bus ride. It ended with the short letter. This was one of the last times I remember putting all my heart into it, I was up singing and rehearsing for hours driving people around me nuts. In the morning things went fine, but something wasn't right. Then months later...well, you get the idea. Could you imagine how horrible it would be to study music to have it declared a little later you may never get to sing?

It's been really rough for me recently. I'm still trying to find solid information that this'll go away, but right now all I can do is really pray. Pray with conviction, from my heart, with all the passion I can muster. Looking at it though, and reading Layne's post about God having nothing to do with the things he can control. I don't have cancer, but to me this is almost worse, so why should I ever for even one minute believe that God cant' do anything about it? That God has no control? That I'm screwed?

I shall find you monkey, and I'll show you how a real man flings poo.

Movie of the Day - (Sad Movie) 새드무비-I have a new favorite foreign film. This is to me the "Love Actually" of Korea! It has great stories, and strong characters that really show you well...a sad movie. It makes you care about these characters, first by showing us their strengths and their ultimate weaknesses. It's especially touching to me though because of the fact that it shows people change. I rememeber at one point I was just trying to will the movie into another direction but it just wouldn't be that easy. It was stubborn, but true. Will, I think you would really like this, even if it did prove your theory about Korean Women in film.