Crashing into someone else is the most indescribable feeling in the entire world...and I've had it happen, what? Three times now? When it happens, as you run right into the other person...and you hear the metals crashing, breaks screeching, everything stopping at that very second. Then for just a small second, the world stops. When it starts again your mind is going faster than your car before it happened, your brain is plotting out your next move, you cry, you go nuts, and then you stop again.
...and then it's right back in there with the clearest head you can imagine. You have a course of action, you have a plan, a story, and a split second of the truth all rushing through. It wasn't until I was in the Police car that I couldn't help but hold back the laughter. All these minature disasters, you'd think they'd be the death of me. Too bad when they really come after me, it's like they wake up the fire. I have a plan, and that plan is to not make plans. It's to have ideas, pursue all of them, and hold onto the one that gives. I---for the third time in two years of having my liscense, have totaled my car---and I am more than fine. I'm alive.
My work was praying for me, my family was praying for me, and who says prayer doesn't work.
"In his heart a man plans his course,
but the Lord determines his steps."
Good God Jesus, if you need my attention God all you had to do is ask. I took my first step backwards today, both literally and figuratively. I talked to my pastor today, finally. I told her my story; it wasn't perfect but the world kept turning. Afterwords I had some time to myself, I watched a great movie about changing things while you still can. It's a horribly cheesy movie with lots of bad eighties moments but the chick is hot and it makes me smile. It reminded me of a few things; to remember I loved running. that amazing feeling of not being able to catch your breath, knowing god is there holding you up by your strings.
The verse is from a crazy little Korean, I danced in the darken streets today just a few minutes ago. Crazy things we do when we're doing better.
EDIT: I actually did have the accident on wednesday morning, I just wasn't sure how to write it without sounding all angst-child. =P