Food for those who don't like food.

Monday, April 23, 2007

I'm ready, I am! --- Part Two

Recently I spent sometime in the project, and honestly I couldn't think of anything better than a camera and a few eclectic residents to get you thinking. Like this one girl, I didn't get her name but as soon as my and my friend pulled our camera's out she hollered out the window. She wanted us to take her picture!

It was rare.

Usually if I pull out a camera I get a select few reactions.

A - No pictures! No pictures! *smothers*
B - PEDOPHILIA! *insert screaming mother*
C - *insert a long string of profanity and a swinging bat...true story*

Yet here's this girl, just looking her best. Fixing her hair, strutting her stuff. No real bad intentions, she just wanted someone to capture her big smile. What does it take to get people to be that open, though?

Thinking about it, this openness is really lacking in our world. You think you're open until you realize you aren't. Hell, I thought I was open to a couple things. Honestly though...somethings in life you think you were always ready for; some things you have to prepare yourself for; and some amount of preparation would ever help.

I am talking solely about the latter at this point, and last friday I had my first real date...and quite possibly my last ever. This is all strictly off the record by the way.

The set up: not only classic, it was downright surreal. It all started with a simple seat arrangement. I had been asked to move tables to give room to someone with a larger project and a need for space. Moving to the only available space sat me next to her. Now she was essentially an interest to start with, conveniantly placed in my class we would flirt occasionally, but it was all just harmless, witless banter.

Cue the catalyst: unnamed to protect his identity, this large jolly fellow has a solid grip on his surroundings.

Oh Noes!"

an exaggeration has been made with this dialogue for dramatic effect. In reality the catalyst is a real mumbler.

"What's wrong, man!" I respond.

"I have two tickets to see this magnificently wonderful show known as RENT (all rights reserved), but alas I cannot attend. What dismay has this world brought unto me?"

"Good Golly Grief man! Pull yourself together!"

"But...way off off broadway calls!"

"I have a solution!"

Enter the girl.

"I'll take them!" she says suavely, swooping in quick successive seconds to snatch the singing show's stubs.

*GASP*ed. Our gentlemanly ways were shocked by her forwardness.

"But I must attend in this kind fellow's honor!"

"Well...she might have plans" suggests the jolly man catalyst.

"I do...Do ya wanna?" She offers.

"I wanna".

There may have been some exaggerations with the sequencing, but it ended accurately. Honestly I had no idea what I was doing, this is something that has been constant with me in my life. I do not date. Why do I not date? I am asked that same exact question, every single day of my life. At least once, and I am really not exaggerating. I haven't quite figured out a solid answer to it, despite it being a constant topic.

So one little date won't hurt right?

Just one?

I told myself something along these lines over and over, but really the shear akwardness of the whole thing still makes my ears ring. I guess I was just infatuated with the idea of going on a date, and less so with my actual date. Not to downplay her beauty, she is quite the looker if I do say so myself.

It started off bad. Her "mom was in town and she didn't know if she could make it, she promised her mom she would meet her for lunch" which turned into "dinner", so there goes all of that small talk. Then she doesn't think she can make it, so I have to drive from work to pick up my ticket for a musical. We wouldn't want these tickets to go to waste right? So by the time I get home I reek of coffee and sweat and want to just...give up. But despite my tardiness I still try to make it. So now I look bad, because she decides to call and tell me she's gonna wait by the door for me. Forget the fact I am twenty minutes away and haven't even thought of parking.

Eight minutes left, I leave my ticket at my car in a parking area that's way off the path. Dashing back we make in the door to say the least. Our seat isn't on the first set so maybe it's up?

Not the second flight?

What about the last really there's an elevator up to there?

Yeah, we went to see Rent. A musical that really is not to my tastes. It was showy and loud and we had quite possibly the worst seats in the house. Seats that I drove an extra hour and ran clear out of breath for. We hit intermission and there is no small talk, nothing. We have the lasting chemistry of water and oil. That's right, I ran to the bathroom because I felt like I had food poisoning and she ran to smoke as many cigarettes as humanly possible before they dragged her back in.

I didn't even know what to do afterwards, dinner, food, drinks? I'm not suave, I'm debonair, and most certainly am having intestinal malfunctions. So we just kind of part ways...


Somethings you really aren't ready for, dating for me is one of them. It's not just because I had a bad date. It's because when I do date, I want something to be there. I want to be able to understand the whole biblical side of it all. I want to not pursue something for entertainment purposes, but really put myself out there. Last thing I want to do is play with their heart. Right now, that's all me dating would be for me. God made women to have beautiful delicate hearts, I feel I should respect that for now.


Robyn said...

I understand the point of dating, but...for like...other, not so weird people.

I don't date not because I'm not ready, just because I don't want to. I think. On the other hand, I do things I'm not ready to do. LIKE GRADUATE! HAHA! HAHAHAHA HAHAHAHA HRAAHUsob.

Um...on that note, my "what do I do afterwards" choice is usually ice cream unless the other person is lactose intolerant.

The Overworked Barista said...


I think I've decided I won't graduate, or maybe that's just because I have no real clue what I want to do yet.

Ice cream sounds great though even if I am lactose intollerant. Don't worry though, I'm no wimp about food allergies. I'll suffer through an amazing it's entirety. I just may disappear for a few days afterwords.

Ashley said...

Josh you're so kyuuuuuuuuuuuute *cheek pinch*

You have given Jen and I much amusement with your romantic misadventures. We enjoy them, and submit that you must be nearby to some turtle of awkwardness.